A Northern Virginia firefighter, Adam Armstrong was arrested Thursday morning after police were called to his residence in Stafford, Va.
Armstrong refused to open the door for local officials, who were responding to a report of ‘loud music’ and ‘yelling’ coming from within the home.
Police breached the door less than an hour later, only to find Mr. Armstrong asleep on his kitchen island.
Authorities were surprised to find over 72 ounces of cocaine, a loaded semi automatic rifle and large amor of tofu flavored food.
The rifle was recovered from another bedroom located within the residence. The schedule 1 narcotics were found inside Armstrong’s rectum, conveniently shaped like a Dick.
More information coming up.