Early this morning, local authorities arrested Zephyrhills resident Jason English in a Wal-Mart bathroom on charges of felony arson and murder.
English is the only suspect in an event that local authorities are calling the worst crime in our country’s history. He’s accused of placing multiple explosives throughout a Zephyrhills retirement community, killing 141 senior citizens and injuriby at least 200 more – all of them visiting from other states. He is being held without bail.
When asked why he committed this atrocity, “No one likes them, no one wants them here. I did this city a service. I’m a hero”
In addition to these crimes, you’ve just been pranked! 🙂