CANADA – Rosie O’Donnell finally made good on her promise to leave the United States if Donald Trump won the Presidency.
In a publicity stunt last weekend, O’Donnell was flown over the Canadian Rockies so she could drop in on her new home country, by parachute.
Unfortunately, the main parachute and the auxiliary chute both failed to open, as O’Donnell plummeted towards the ground at an extremely high velocity. Upon landing face down, somewhere in the Canadian Rockies, O’Donnell’s body mass created a new 666 acre lake, which has been named Big Mouth Lake in her honor.
Canada may never be the same after this event, but O’Donnell did survive the incident and immediately polished off 13 dozen creme filled long johns as soon as the Emergency Medical Technicians checked out O’Donnell for injuries.
Royal Canadian Mounted Police and several seismologists and geologists verified that there were no major stress fractures in the Earth’s crust that were caused by O’Donnell’s plummet to Earth.
Stay tuned for updates on this story on Channel 23 News.