President Trump announced today, plans to overall the sometimes controversial ATF. In a stunning move by the White House, the acronym will have a new addition: the letters S & P, as well as a new lead position: a Czar.
In addition to alcohol, tobacco and firearms, the government will now be regulating socks full of Poo.
Lead by the notorious Sock of Poo Czar, the new ATFSP will aggressively address the growing problem of sock of poo violence.
“The president is determined to keep our streets safe, ” says the newly appointed czar (who will maintain anonymity during her appointment), “he realizes that the one’s of cases of poop sock violence must be dealt with swiftly.”
Poop sock violence was first brought to light back in 2012, when a passenger on a Chicago subway was attacked by a man with a sock filled with human feces. The suspect was never caught.