CANADA – Rosie O’Donnell finally made good on her promise to leave the United States if Donald Trump won the Presidency.
In a publicity stunt, O’Donnell was flown over Canada so she could drop in on her new home country, by parachute.
Unfortunately, the main parachute and the auxiliary chute both failed to open, as O’Donnell plummeted towards the ground at an extremely high velocity. Upon landing face down, somewhere in Canada, O’Donnell’s body mass created a new 666 acre lake, which has been named Lake O’Donnell in her honor.
Canada may never be the same after this event, but O’Donnell did survive the incident and immediately polished off 13 dozen creme filled long johns as soon as the Riyal Canadian Mounted Police and several seismologists and geologists verified that there were no major stress fractures in the Earth’s crust.