Friday, July 30 2017
It was quite the scene at Storr’s Pond today for Oahe Incorporated’s annual “Blitzkrieg Fishing Derby”. The event is held every year to raise awareness and funds for local area cake pop stands and dog parks.
About 100 young people participated but one rose victorious far above the rest. Tha boy is Jordan Laverdure. Left mentally impaired after a decade long binge on lard and Budweiser, Jordan has been in the care of Oahe Inc. caregiver Justin Stanek.
Justin added, “Jordan’s a good little chub of a fellow. He still wakes up screaming for beer in the middle of the night and I have to cut up his food for him, but that doesn’t keep his from trying his okayest every day. We’re all so thrilled he beat all those other snooty shit kids in the Derby. Fuck ’em.”
His prize for winning? A box of popcorn kernels and shaving cream. And “being able to flip off those little whiny fucks after I won”
Jordan plans on trying out the professional fishing scene, making popcorn balls, and raising field mice.
Good on you, Jordan.