6/30/2017
After a nearly 15 hour exhaustive manhunt, County authorities arrested the woman they believe is responsible for numerous thefts of paper toilet seat covers. These thefts have occurred at several major department stores across the area in recent days.
The suspect, Angie Hammil was discovered behind a convenience store in County’s West End around noon today. Authorities said it was a tip that lead to the capture and arrest of who some residents have crudely labeled the “ass gasket bandit”. One store manager Channel 23 spoke to stated she was happy to hear Ms. Hammil had been caught. “She has no business committing such thefts. Those thefts create health hazards to shoppers who are in need of relief in our restrooms”, stated Kelly Winters. “Nobody wants to end up with cooties or other critters affecting their nether regions”.
Authorities have not made a formal statement of the charges pending against Ms. Hammil, but one official speaking anonymously told Channel 23 that she faces numerous felonies including grand larceny and an assault charge stemming from what he referred to as a “gas attack” in a restroom.
(Ha ha, Angie! Busted)