U.S. Army Officer Arrested in Colombo, Sri Lanka

U.S. Army Special Operations Officer, Joseph Quinn, was arrested early Wednesday morning after police were called to his Monarch Apartment in Colombo, Sri Lanka.

Quinn, 39, refused to open the door for local officials, who were responding to a report of ‘loud music’ and ‘yelling’ coming from within the apartment.

Police breeched the door less than an hour later, only to find MAJ Quinn asleep on his kitchen table (naked).

Authorities were surprised to find over 72 ounces of cocaine and a loaded semi automatic rifle.

The rifle was recovered from another bedroom located within the residence. The schedule 1 narcotics were found inside Quinn’s rectum, conveniently shaped like a dick.

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