DANGER! Painted Rocks Deadly!

Have you seen the newest craze?
Did you find a painted rock maybe?
This new craze might just be the end of you, really!
The recent craze of painting rocks, and tracking their travels has taken a deadly turn.
Officials in three states, North Carolina, Virginia, and Utah, have reported deaths associated with the painted rocks to the Center for Disease Control.
North Carolina and Virginia each report two deaths, while Utah is reporting their first case. Circumstances surrounding the deaths are similar in all five cases. Each victim handled a painted rock they found. The similarities end there though. Race, gender, age, specific location, and other details vary greatly.
The rocks are being tested for toxins. Current evidence is indicating a possible “contact toxin”. Dr. Louise Deriman of the CDC, in a press release, stated that while the actual toxin is still undetermined, authorities are treating it as Anthrax as a precaution.
Dr. Deriman also reported symptoms as high fever, shortness of breath, muscle aches, and blistering where the rocks made contact with the skin of those handling the rocks in question. She also noted there isn’t a guaranteed method of disinfecting after contact. You need to seek medical help immediately, and explain to health personnel your fears, and the circumstances surrounding them.
Dr. Deriman issued one last warning. She said Google is your fucking friend, social media hoaxes are everywhere, and you need to stop being a dumbass and believing everything you see without checking it out.
CDC officials are warning people to stay away from the painted rocks, unicorns. BIG Foot, and local waterways infested with piranha.