Jim Harbaugh has announced that after only two seasons as head coach of the University of Michigan Wolverines Football, he is resigning. “I have decided to give up on this bunch of no talent squids and pursue my true passion… dance”, said Harbaugh at a press conference, held today at Chuck E Cheeze Pizza, in Ypsilanti, MI.
Harbaugh, who now wants to be called “The Artist Laverne” said that he is tired of dancing alone in front of his mirror every night, and wants to share his gift of “life interpreted through movement” with the world. His first public performance will be this year at the 2nd annual Caitlyn Jenner Celebrity Golf Tournament and Chili Cook-Off, held this year in Kookamunga, California.