O.J. Simpson found dead in cell.

Early Friday morning, following his parole hearing, O.J. Simpson was found dead in his cell. He hanged himself with his bed sheets. From the suicide note, we conclude that fellow inmates had criticized him for the whole 9 years during his incarceration. The note stated that he could not go on living and had to be with Nicole. He admits to causing people harm and hopes that every time you drink orange juice you will be reminded of him. It’s signed Orenthal James. P.S. You lost the bet!