July 22, 2017
OAK BROOK –
As a teenager he dreamed of some day running the state of Illinois, and soon he may do just that. Milan Filipovich, an Oak Brook based attorney who focuses on criminal defense cases, is set to announce his candidacy to the highest office in Illinois sometime next week.
“People tell me that I’m crazy, that I’ve never held office, that my name is too long, that this and that. But the fact is that we can’t go on like this any longer. Our state has become a total disaster, and the entire nation is laughing at us. What we need is a true outsider to shake things up. We don’t need any more weak politicians here. I have no doubt I’m going to win. None whatsoever.”
Filipovich, who stands 6’4″ tall, and invariably wears black attire, is an imposing man with zero threshold for nonsense. He walks around with two loaded Glocks, because ‘his job puts him in danger …’ and is known for both his quick wit and his explosive temper:
“It’s funny how people jump to conclusions, saying that nothing can be done with our state. I have a law degree, another in political science. These politicians with have here, they want no part of me. I’m no Rauner, ok? And Illinois is not Enron!”
But it’s something else that he is also known for – his womanizing ways. “Me? A womanizer?? Hahahah, that’s absurd. But that’s typical of people to say, those that want to sidetrack the voters from what is happening in our state. Very sad when grown adults invent false truths. Very sad.”
When pressed to explain how he would reform Illinois and close the budget gap, Filipovich didn’t hesitate to state that he would legalize prostitution, recreational drugs, and build the ‘biggest damn casino in North America’ right in smack downtown Chicago ‘where it belongs.’To deal with Chicago’s chronic gun violence issues, he was just as equally blunt – “We have a national guard here in this state, don’t we?? What do they do all day long? Sit in their barracks and watch TV. No, I would dispatch 10,000 troops and impose martial law until every gun is off the street. Then we will see what happens! But the problem is not the guns but the spineless politicians who have no guts to do what it takes to keep Chicagoans safe.”
Filipovich cites Russia’s Vladimir Zhirinovsky as his inspiration, along with US presidents FDR and Nixon, and late Yugoslav dictator Tito.
“Let them play while they still can. Once I’m in office it’s gonna be a much different story. Let’s see what they are gonna do when I impose term limits, and have the State Police monitor their bank accounts. Enough is enough. I’m coming to get them, and the people will thank me.”
When asked who will be his campaign manager, Filipovich briskly stated, “we’ll see.”
Stay tuned folks, looks like there’s a new sheriff in town.