Unnamed sources have confirmed that Little Rock was attacked by a band of pirates in the early morning hours of Monday, July 17th.
Under cover of darkness Captain “Dirty Dog” Dixie and her notorious crew sailed up the Mississippi River to Helena, Arkansas ~ and then up the Arkansas River before finally landing near the site of La Petite Roche in downtown Little Rock.
As a result of heroic defensive action undertaken by early morning joggers and a group of slightly inebriated Parrotheads the pirates retreated to their ship and were last seen headed towards DeValls Bluff in search of Craig’s BBQ.