Providence Journal – A RI man was critically dejected today when he realized that an overwhelming number of his friends had tickets to Red Sox games this week. Forced to watch the games on HD television, he responded sadly, “I’m just an unlucky guy. If it rained tickets from the sky, everyone would catch a couple of Red Sox tickets. Me, I’d probably get backstage passes to Nickelback.”
Facebook witnesses claim that one person reached out to point out that she, too, did not have Red Sox tickets and that her plans to get them from her “best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend who heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Farrell pass out tickets at 31 Flavors last night” didn’t pan out. Asked if this was any consolation to him, he stated he appreciated the sad similarities but was more consoled by the fact that, with the exception of Red Sox fanboy Aaron Judge, “at least the Yankees still suck.”