Trump to Serve Weekends for Child Sex

President Donald Trump will be headed to Hampshire County Regional Jail this coming Friday for a delayed sentencing stemming from a child sex conviction from 2014. The conviction, which was somehow stifled during the election, was from offenses committed in 2010 with a minor in a pizza shop in Washington DC.
The minor, who is not named according to the Child Protection Act, had stated that Mr.Trump performed “unnatural acts” upon her using “a feeble but steady stream of urine from what looked like a prolapse anus.”
President Trump will be the first sitting American president to serve jail time while in office.
The White House did not respond to comment, but is currently preparing a statement.