Following the annual safety and training initiative held at NASA headquarters in wotomow, FL the USPA along with the FAA have announced that any turns greater than 90 degrees on landing are officially banned at all USPA Dropzones across the United States.
USPA Regional Director Chris Nunn is heading up this initiative and he feels it is detrimental to the advancement of safety in the rapidly growing sport of Skydiving. ” We cant just have these people filming some wild back-flying tandem video and then laying down a 630 degree turn where they end up digging for their life.” Says Chris. ” its absolutely reckless and the speed induced should be illegal. ”
When asked about how he plans to enforce this safety initiative Chris has a few ideas ” we plan to install speed detecting radar devices which would allow us to monitor these kinds of things.” When the speed detector is triggered more than twice under digging conditions the offending skydiver will immediately have their license and all ratings revoked until meeting with me say Chris.
“We look forward to a day and time where skydiving can be equal for all participants.” “its just not fair that some can shred and some will just never be able to. We need to lower that bar and make it a sport all people can feel welcome. From timid Hindus who can barely pull out from a stop sign without killing half the population all the way to the opposite end of incapable yet overconfident fucks which resemble only the most daring and affable fellows that refer to themselves as bottom feeders and sea felines. ”
From Crawfish and environmentalists to dot-heads and chicken shawarmas this is a sport for EVERYONE!