Connor County police are still trying to sort out the details of a one-car accident on State Route 32 east of Sallyfield on Sunday evening. Witnesses say the red Builk Oldsmobile suddenly swerved, jumped the median, and stayed airborne for approximately 30 feet before landing in a Japanese restaurant’s rock garden.
Upon arriving on the scene, paramedics found a 53-year-old woman clutching her left eye in extreme discomfort speaking incoherently. Further diagnosis revealed the lipstick she was applying immediately before the accident was lodged into her eye socket.
Officer Frankling said, “Women drivers losing vehicular control and impaling themselves with cosmetic implements is a sudden epidemic in our once quiet community. We must raise awareness of women drivers.” The officer was referencing the 23-year-old woman impaling herself through her chest with her mascara brush when she impacted a local coffee shop last week, and the eye-lash-curler scalping the week before in the horse-buggy-automobile collision.
Mayor Andersons said, “If women drivers cannot apply their makeup while not operating a motor vehicle, we will consider legislation to curtail when and where they can drive.”