The blood and semen-covered body of a 36 year old Creighton, SK man with a greasy complexion and repellant body odor was discovered on Saturday following a loud explosion at his home. Emergency personnel were called to the 100 block of Roche Street shortly after 9AM after a neighbour was blown through the north wall of his home. The cause of the blast is currently unknown and under investigation, but is suspected to be a result of an internet dare involving a K-Y, Krazy Glue, and blowtorch masturbation session.
Donations can be made in lieu of flowers or drug paraphernalia to Nambla.