Harvard study: 100% of men who avoid Claude Vonstroke shows in their City turn out to be gay

Groundbreaking Harvard study shows that 100% of men studied who did not show up to a Claude Vonstroke show, but were informed about the show, turned out to be super gay. The study showed that there’s a direct correlation between men who enjoy anal sex with other men (often in the form of a gangbang) and people not showing up to a Claude Vonstroke show. “Our study shows overwhelming evidence that people that don’t show up to these shows, but knew about it in advance, are busy snorting lines off of other males penises with their buttholes.” Said Dr. Crowe. “We also found a direct correlation between these people and the enjoyment of breakbeats, which may explain their super gayness” the only known therapeutic treatment for this is attending Claude Vonstroke shows.