BREAKING: Study finds health risks associated with lack of championship by any Georgia team in years; finds link to depression, heart disease, and other health risks

Athens – New studies by top researchers at the University of Georgia Torrey College of Statistics have unveiled new and not-so-shocking evidence to most Georgia sports fans; the statistically significant link in having such passion and talent through many sports teams, and health risks.

Jerome Adams, Surgeon General of the United States has issued a strong recommendation for action Tuesday, “When you have the best backs in the country, you have to run the ball on short down situations”.

The last championship held my a major sport in Georgia was the Braves World Series victory in 1995.

This afternoon, Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed stated in a press conference “I really thought it was bullshit when I heard we traded the Olympics in Atlanta for 99 years of bad luck in sports…i’m not so sure right now…fuck”.