CEOS Break Silence About Labor Day, Lash Out Over Trillions In Lost Productivity

International Corporations CEOs took to social media in a firestorm late Monday afternoon. “You know…all these worker’s / human rights are getting out of control and quite frankly, they are affecting our ability to extract surplus labor from people. What happened to the good old days of exploiting the poor for profit without all these hurdles?” said Albert Ray, CEO of global grocery chain Raymart.

“In being a global capitalist, I take pride in the fact that I exploit my workers AND customers for big profits. That’s what America is all about, am I right? said Timothy Danielson, CEO of international financing group Earth Bank.

A CEO of multinational cable corp Marcus Moredo chimed in as well. “It’s getting too difficult to turn a decent profit anymore with the overtime and child labor laws. I used to take 24 cruises every year and this year we might have to only do 23….completely unacceptable.

At this point, it’s unclear if this was just some angry rants or if lobbyists will try to push some of their ideas to Congress. We will follow closely for updates.