Authorities in Nashville, Tennessee have issued an all point bulletin and arrest warrant for the infamous “Brazier Bandit”. A patron at “Coyote Ugly” who wishes to remain anonymous was quoted as saying “she walked into the bar with a large handbag and was eyeballing the bras hanging from the rafters. I noticed her glaring at a Victoria Secrets French laced bra with a tiny bow in the middle.”
The perp appeared to be in a drunken stupor, running into barstools and mumbling “where’s the catfish”, before falling face down into a platter of nachos. In all, 10 pairs of bras, all C-cups were stolen as the nacho cheese covered face bandit fled with two accomplices in beaten down Suzuki Samurai.
It is suspected that the Brazier Bandit has amassed a treasure trove of at least 500 bras dating back to 2015 where she stole her first bra from a mother who was breastfeeding her infant at a local park in Nevada, Texas. That case is still pending. Crime Stoppers along with Victoria Secrets and Bali Bras are offering a $5,000 for the apprehension and conviction of the Brazier Bandit.