Butler University Athlete Faces Charges for Having Intercourse with a Cat

Butler University Football Player, Ryan “Werben Man-j Jensen” Smith is now facing charges after sexually assaulting a neighbors cat. Smith was found in the back alley of W 43rd Place Monday night attempting to penetrate the anus of a neighbors feline. It is believed his hormones reached an out of control state after watching an online video titled “OG Mudbone Cumhydrant Montage.” When asked about the incident, he simply stated “I’ll fuck any pussy I can get my hands on these days.” Smith, known better as the “Notorious McCherub”, is set to have his day in court on November 2nd. It is likely he will be sentenced to death by the electric chair. Citizens across America are rejoicing.