Township 82, Northern Maine, Friday, October 6th- A Massachusetts crane operator that went missing Friday was found by two moose hunters in the northern wilderness of Maine-at the top of a giant pine tree. The man was babbling incoherently but was nonetheless in fair physical condition as he was removed from the tree and taken to a local facility for evaluation.
“We heard something above us, about a hundred feet up, and were pretty surprised”, said moose hunter Jake Lamotta. ” He was muttering about the weight of cable not used, the jib that is really an extension, you know, just crazy stuff. I mean, that guy was out there!”
“We knew we had to do something, but couldn’t figure out what to do”, said Lamotta’s hunting partner Eric Clampton. “But then, I remembered that my uncle owns a crane company.”
The two contacted Sewell Madsden of Great Northern Crane and a massive crane was dispatched to the scene. After determining that this was a critical pick and a man basket was needed, the proper paperwork was filled out and Madsen himself rode the basket to the top of the tree to effect the rescue. “He was just out of it, ragging on and on about regulations, electric power lines, load charts, all kinds of wacky things. He wouldn’t get in the basket, no matter what I said, so I went back down to the ground until we could think of something.”
It was coming on to dusk when the moose hunters happened upon an idea from their emergency rations. Madsen again rode the basket to the treetop and used a last ditch effort to coax the errant hoist engineer into the man basket. ” Yup, I got him down but the real heroes here are those two guys who gave up their last Grapefruit Shandy. I mean, that’s the only thing that got him to change his mind. He’d still be up there now if it wasn’t for that!”
The errant tree-sitter was later returned to his home in Massachusetts and is now under evaluation since he now is delusional and confused. “We’re glad he’s safe,”said a source close to the family, “but now he thinks he’s a clam digger. It’s clear we have a long way to go.”