FBI Coming for Bryce Phipps, Shouting, “The Bastard Figured Us Out!”

The FBI and various other three-letter intelligence agencies are on their way to the sad sandy suburbs of Simi Valley, CA today to intercept and silence some dude named Bryce. “He’s asking too many questions,” Special Agent Oso quivered to our anonymous source, Jane from accounting. “Like, how did he figure this shit out?”
At last update, the fuzz was speeding past the semi-scorched smiley face on top of a hill that somehow qualifies as a beloved local landmark.