Recent USA Soccer Loss Leaves Parents at Crossroad

Last nights USA Soccer loss to Trinidad and Tobago left USA Soccer parents of players on the national team searching for an answer as to why and how this ever happened. Said one parent who wanted to remain nameless, “listen, I didn’t drive all over fucking kingdom come all these years to see my son lose to a team from an Island we don’t even have a time share on. I’m going to protest and request we play best two out of three.” Another mother added, “my son played on the best teams, got the best coaching and my fingers are literally still raw from all of the god damn oranges I peeled for those teams all those years. Maybe my kid should have played more than Jim’s kid. He really did shit today.”
In an attempt to find some parents who could offer a less conflicted viewpoint, one parent offered this, “I have a room full of participation trophies that were obviously a wink, wink to my son for being such an unbelievable player at such a young age and just a incentive for all the rest of the suck bags to keep playing, but really, why incentive inferiority which just leads to the inevitable, my all star playing with a bunch of losers who can’t bury a goal like my kid.”
At press time parents were still protesting outside of the North American Soccer offices demanding a best two out of three series and still have no clue as to how this could have ever happened.