AP – It has been reported that anti-America filmmaker Michael Moore was slightly injured yesterday in a parachuting accident somewhere over the Pacific Northwest!
Friends close to Mr. Moore say he had wanted to sky dive ever since he was a child, but his obesity had prevented it, as no parachute manufacturer made a parachute that was large enough to accommodate the obscene tonnage of Mr. Moore.
Finally, after decades of failed dieting, Mr. Moore said, “To hell with it! I’m jumping!” He then rented the largest tent available from Lafayette Tent and Awning Company, strapped it to his back, and took off in a completely gutted Boeing 747 ‘Jumbo Jet’.
After a very long and slow climb in the overweight ‘Jumbo Jet’, Mr. Moore was given the green light to jump from 22,500 feet.
Mr. Moore attempted to deploy his ‘parachute’ at approximately 10,000 feet, but his excessive weight caused his makeshift ‘parachute’ to disintegrate immediately upon the attempted deployment.
It is reported that Mr. Moore impacted the earth at a velocity that was close to the speed of sound, thus creating a new lake. After the impact, he got up, brushed himself off, hugged his boyfriend Roswell ‘Rosie’ O’Donnell, who was waiting for him at ground zero, and then walked off together into the sunset.
At the request of Mr. Moore, the newly created lake was named ‘Lake Donald John Trump’, in honor of Mr. Moore’s and Mr. O’Donnell’s favorite president.