Palatine Man Sentenced 20 years for Chronic Public Masturbation

In a recent inteview with several officers of the Palatine Police Dept., Channel 23 News was given information regarding the arrest and now finally sentencing a man long overdue. A nefarious man has been publicly masturbating, getting caught and arrested, and repeating the process. According to Officer Norton, whom personally arrested the offender on more than one occasion, the man was an extreme sociopath. “This guy never made any attempt to be incognito.” Norton says. “In fact, it almost seemed the exact opposite. He would frantically run around public parks and fields, furiously masturbating and screaming incomprehensibly. When he was confronted by angry or horrified onlookers, he would begin to chase them around, all the while never ceasing his masturbatory frenzy.” The officers were forced to taze the man; he was unarmed, but would not respond to any police orders to cease and desist. Palatine circuit court Judge Jeff Rosenthal says that due to the fact that the man was released on bail, and would repeat his offense before sentencing of his last crime had been established. And so on, until the man had racked up 14 counts of public indecency and assault. Palatine resident Erik Graves will be serving his sentence staring this January.