Lions Hire Veteran Head Coach John Fox

Detroit (MI) – AP

The Detroit Lions have hired veteran head coach John Fox to take the reins of a talented, but struggling team.

Lions general manager Bob Quinn said the Lions were looking for someone who would really “pop” and “sizzle”, but settled for John Fox because it made business sense.

“I think Lions fans will understand this move because John makes great business sense. He hasn’t won much lately, but he’s a safe hire and should help us make a lot of money on the business side,” said Quinn. “We’re very excited.”

“First off we need to settle the QB position,” said Fox. “Stanford will need to show me something this offseason if he hopes to continue a career as our quarterback. We want to play defense and be very conservative on offense.”

Detroit Lions’ fans have largely been upset with the move and the backlash has been significant.

“Fuck this shit!” said longtime Lions fan, Nancy Pelosi. “These motherfuckers have crossed me for the last time. Go Pack Go!”