OZIL SIGNS CONTRACT EXTENSION WITH BUMMERS

Mesut Ozil has signed a contract extension with the moonfruits. He has finally put pen to paper after holding the club to ransom. This is what he had to say on the matter.
“When Alexis told me he would leave, I thought great! I can bleed these muthabiatches for every penny I can and look at me now, £350,000 a week, I can’t believe they said yes. This is the easiest money I’ve ever made and now it’s signed, PARRTAAY. Feet up, cigar and slippers. #muggedthemoff