Melba Asbestos Scare sees School Evacuated

Students and teachers were evacuated from Melba Copland Secondary School this morning following the discovery of an unmined pit of asbestos under the school gym. Principal Michael Battenally reassured community members that “Only a little bit of asbestos was found. Your children are most probably totally fine and won’t mutate.” Local residents were concerned that the asbestos could have leaked into the local water supply, and that mutations could be rife in the neighbourhood.