At around 6:30pm on Friday 6th of June an 11 year old boy going by the name of Lewis Higgingbottham slipped and fell into a 16 year old boy knocking his tray of chips onto the floor wasting an extaushionate amount of £1:50. After an exchange of words the 16 year old boy comando rolled over the front desk and re appeared holiding a baratt 50 cal sniper rifle. The Manager tried to detain him but wasn’t quick enough to act as the bullet flew through the air digging a huge hole Into the forehead of the unfortunate child. Kirk Broomhead is now being held hostage at Asda being charged with first degree muder with a life sentence in the baggage area- more to follow