BREAKING: Original Recipe Egg McPerlman Makes Comeback

Dining Hall, Perlman Camp

After last week’s shocking change of ingredients to the classic breakfast favorite, the Egg McPerlman has returned to form. Opinions are split on the reinstatement of English muffins- a move that has been lauded by traditionalists but penned by millennials.

“I don’t know care, really, but English muffins are inferior. Everything from England is inferior,” remarked US citizen David Ziman with an approval-seeking smile.

The short-lived rebrand was a result of mounting pressure to modernize, but dissenters of the move took hard stances. “I will never call it an Egg McBerlman for as long as I live,” claimed gourmet food critic Amanda Cohen. “The ‘B’ stands for ‘bullshit’, not ‘biscuits’.”

Details of this story broke first from the Associated Press.