Michael Taylor won last nights 50.1 million dollar Powerball.
When informed that he won the unemployment itinerant transient stated that he was going to go spread glitter, the sparkly stuff strippers use, on the White House. “The Donald needs to be glitterfied, ” said the beleaguered Michael. He also hopes to spread glitter to all the inner city residents of the District of Columbia.
Michael then said he would look in to getting glitterfied tires for his 3 Speed Schwann. “Rolling with the glitter is the only way to roll.”
As he was being awarded his winnings the goateed winning ticket was confiscated by the IRS for back taxes. “We take it seriously when people don’t pay their taxes on glitter,” said Jack Lumpynutz the Senior Revenue Collector. Me. Lumpynutz went on to explain that glitter has a 53% exercise tax and that Michael Taylor has been delinquent in paying his exercise taxes for forty-seven years.
Michael then went back to living in a water heater box behind Saint Mcguinnes Catholic Pub and Eatery. “It was fun while it lasted,” he said.
Glitter Lottery
