Brantford Man Arrested for Drug Possession

Local carpet and flooring installer, Lucan Howell, was arrested early Wednesday morning after police were called to his residence at 97 Grand Street in Brantford.

Howell, refused to open the door for local officials, who were responding to a report of ‘loud music’ and ‘yelling’ coming from within the home.

Police breeched the door less than an hour later, only to find Howell asleep on his kitchen table.

Authorities were surprised to find over 72 ounces of cocaine and a loaded semi automatic rifle.

The rifle was recovered from another bedroom located within the residence. The schedule 1 narcotics were found inside Howells rectum, conveniently shaped like a dick.

Howell was released on $5000 bail the following day.